A Future Without You
by Lark R. Starling
Summary: Killua finds out he has leukemia, and wants to tell Kurapika. But how will Kurapika react? Kurapika x Killua oneshot


**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters in the story.

WARNING: This story deals with the subject of cancer. It was not my intention to be insensitive about it in any way, but if you think I was, then I sincerely apologize.

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Killua stared at the doctor in horrified shock. Leukemia? How could he have leukemia? He was resistant to poisons, and could withstand all kinds of torture. He was an amazing warrior (if he didn't say so himself) and he was going to be offed by cancer? He couldn't believe it.

The doctor gave Killua a schedule of the treatments he would have to undergo in order to put up a fight against the almost-always fatal disease. Killua accepted the paper, not even paying attention.

After the appointment, he walked out to the waiting room. Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika were sitting in the chairs, chatting. Gon spotted Killua first. He leapt out of his chair, and the other two followed suit. They all looked worried. Killua tried to give them a reassuring smile, but by the looks on their faces, he failed miserably. They had all freaked when he had fainted, so he really didn't want to tell them the doctor's diagnosis.

"What's wrong, Killua?" Gon asked, reaching out to set a hand on Killua's shoulder. Killua smiled wearily.

"I want a second opinion," he replied.

"_I _could always examine you." Leorio offered.

Killua made a face. "Not a chance." Especially not if he really did have leukemia. He didn't want Leorio and Gon to know.

But for some reason, and Killua laid eyes on Kurapika. Killua didn't want Gon and Leorio to know, but for some reason, he desperately wanted to tell Kurapika. How would Kurapika react…? Would he even care if Killua was dying?

The next day, Killua grabbed an apple from the kitchen, fairly early in the morning. It was time for his first treatment.

Kurapika looked up from the stove. It was his turn to cook breakfast, apparently.

"Where are you going?" Kurapika asked, flipping over the pancakes.

"My first follow-up appointment." Killua said as casually as possible. He didn't want Kurapika to know that he was terrified of this.

Kurapika still sensed something anyway. Frowning, he set down the spatula. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Yes," Killua said instantly. Kurapika seemed a bit surprised by how quickly Killua answered. But Kurapika still smiled, and scooped the pancakes into a plate for Gon and Leorio. He washed his hands, before coming over to stand by Killua.

"W-wait," Killua said, suddenly aware of how selfish he was being, "I'm going to be in there for a few hours. You'll get bored. Maybe you shouldn't come…"

Kurapika continued to smile, putting a comforting hand on Killua's shoulder. "I already said I'd come, didn't I? Don't worry about it."

Killua smiled happily, unable to contain it. Still, this bothered him. Kurapika would obviously find out that these 'follow-ups' weren't what they seemed…

"Alright, Mr. Zoldyck," said the nurse, "if you could follow me to the treatment room, we'll begin the chemotherapy…"

Killua closed his eyes in horror. Kurapika was standing right next to him. Killua had known Kurapika would find out, but he hadn't expected this soon!

The nurse began to walk away, and before he could follow her, Killua's arm was grabbed from behind by Kurapika.

"Treatments? Chemotherapy? I thought you said these were just follow-ups." Kurapika said, concern clouding his features.

"Technically, they _are_ follow-ups, because they follow the first appointment." Killua said innocently. Kurapika rolled his eyes. The nurse turned back to see if Killua was coming. Killua motioned that he would just be a moment, before taking Kurapika's hand and leading him into a corner where they were hidden from the sight of most of the other people in the waiting room.

"Alright, I lied," Killua confessed, "but only because I didn't want to worry Gon and Leorio. The truth is…" Killua licked his lips, extremely nervous. "The truth is, I have leukemia."

Kurapika just stared. "You're joking, right?" He asked.

Killua burst out into laughter. Soon, he was laughing so hard he was crying. Kurapika didn't know whether to laugh with him, or stay silent. He chose the latter, waiting for Killua to calm down and explain.

Finally, Killua took gasping breaths of air, brushing the tears away from his eyes. Laughing had completely alleviated all the stress he had been feeling since yesterday. He looked up at Kurapika, to see him staring at Killua in total shock.

"I'm sorry," Killua said, still chuckling slightly, "that wasn't funny." He sighed, sinking back into complete seriousness. "But I'm not lying. I do have leukemia. I'm sorry." Killua didn't know why, but he felt the sudden urge to apologize.

He was rightly surprised when Kurapika suddenly embraced him tightly. "I'm sorry," Kurapika whispered, "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Sorrow washed over Killua, and he clutched the back of Kurapika's shirt, sobbing into his chest. He tried to soak up every ounce of comfort he could from his friend.

When they at last rejoined the nurse, she was looking impatient. But as soon as she saw Killua's puffy red eyes, her irritated expression softened, and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

The nurse led Killua and Kurapika to the treatment room. She escorted Killua into the room, then gave Kurapika a look.

"Uh…Can't I come in with him?" Kurapika asked. Killua stepped out of the room to stand behind the nurse. He really wanted Kurapika to be there with him…

The nurse smiled sadly. "I'm afraid not."

Killua's face fell, and Kurapika's heart felt like it was being squeezed at Killua's expression. He approached Killua and ruffled his silver hair.

"I'll be in the waiting room, alright? If you need me."

Killua needed Kurapika. Looking at the complicated machinery, he was terrified. Killua tried to reassure himself, thinking that it wouldn't take long, and soon he could be reunited Kurapika…It was these thoughts that got him through the chemotherapy. He sighed in relief when the nurse finally told him he was done.

Killua felt…Strange. Like the radioactivity from the chemo had a lasting effect. Taking off at a run, Killua headed to the waiting room, anxious to see Kurapika again. The chemotherapy had brought him out of his state of shock, and now there was very good possibility Killua wasn't going to live much longer…And there were certain things he wanted his blonde friend to know.

"Killua!" Kurapika said in surprise when he caught sight of the younger boy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Killua said. "I just have to tell you something…" Suddenly aware that everyone in the waiting room was staring at the two of them, Killua awkwardly grabbed Kurapika's arm and pulled him outside. Kurapika followed him until they were both hidden by a large tree. Killua blushed in embarrassment when he thought about what he was going to say…

"It's just…" Killua began, uncomfortably. "We've been friends for a long time, right?" Kurapika nodded. "And well, sometimes…When that happens…That is to say…Er…" _Screw it!_ Killua thought irritably. He didn't have enough time left to be wasting it like this! "It's just that, I love you, Kurapika." Killua finished in a rush.

Kurapika blinked, as if he was unsure he had heard right. Then, smiling, he leaned closer to Killua, so close that his breath mingled with Killua's. "Me too."

Months later, Kurapika walked through the cemetery. He paused a moment to appreciate the bright green grass, and the willow trees that seemed to be crying over the marble tombstones. Kurapika read some of the names and dates, wondering what kind of person the deceased had been in life. It was fairly intriguing, but similarly gloomy.

"Kurapika!" A voice cried. Kurapika's glance shifted over to a certain silver-haired ex-assassin…

"Took you long enough," Killua complained. "I've been waiting for half an hour!"

"Maybe you shouldn't be so energetic so soon after your last treatment," Kurapika retorted defensively.

"Aw," Killua whined. "You're no fun. I'm perfectly healthy again!" He smiled predatorily. "And I'm going to take full advantage of it."

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "Why did you choose to meet in a cemetery, anyway?"

Killua shrugged. "No reason. Just that people don't normally come here just for fun."

"Hmmm…Maybe because it's disrespectful and sacrilegious?" Kurapika replied sarcastically. Killua shrugged, before throwing his arms around Kurapika's neck.

"Or maybe it just means we can be alone together." He whispered. Kurapika smiled.

"Now, and forever."

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Thank you for reading! I hope this was to your liking. And I know that there is very little that is realistic about any very real situations. Sorry!

And, as always, please be civil in your reviewing!


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